One of the traditional views of a person divides us into mind, body,
and spirit.
However, I believe that one's sexuality and sociality is a distinct
part of what makes us human as well.
So when I ask myself the question, what do I want?
I feel more comfortable awnsering it in terms of my mentality, physicality,
spirituality, sexuality, and
sociality. Yes, I think I did just invent the word "sociality".
But it seems to fit. :)
But in the process of coming up with my awnser, I also realized
that those are very hazy and indistinct boundaries, with each part
sometimes so overlapping and joining with
the others that there is no longer any distinction.
Spiritually: I think that one's spirituality is a desire to achieve
a deeper connection with and understanding
of the true nature of reality.
Mentality: I think that one's mentality is our desire to create and learn.
Physicality: I think our physicality is the desire to be healthy and
the ability to pursue
those physical activities that interest us.
Sexuality: I think one's sexuality is the desire to join with another and achieve a union.
Sociality: I think one's sociality is the desire to interact with and
connect with the people
around us through love. Click
here for my personal opinion on what love is.
I believe that becoming a whole person involves achieving a balance
of these five aspects of ourselves.
But, the balance is a unique thing, different for every person.
I also believe that that each aspect
is present in everyone, but that it has a different level of importance
as well.
When I ask myself, how do I balance myself? How do I make myself
fulfilled?
I think many of us already have the awnser.. Think about
your life, your activities, how you spend
your time. When do you feel most yourself? Let me provide
some examples from my own life.
Here are some times when I feel most myself:
-When I teach, when I explain concepts and ideas,
and the person I am teaching experiences that flash of understanding,
I feel most me.
-When I reach out beyond my immediate desires and life, try to
help
or love
someone I normally would have no contact with, I feel I have
done a little bit more to build a bridge, to gain understanding of
someone
outside my group, then I am most me.
-When I engage in conversation about the nature of
reality, life, love, humanity, and gain the perspective and understanding
which helps me to grow spiritually, then I am most me.
-When I wrestle, I can feel the energy and excitement flowing
between me and my opponent, the move and countermove, the joy
in using my body and feeling the strength and power of my opponent's
body, then I am most me.
-When I am with a man that I love, and
am loved by, I can feel the unity of purpose
and spirit.. The joining of mind, body, spirit, the
mutual sexuality, the connection with another, then I am me.
Each time I do something that feels me, I feel a deep sense of
accomplishment and contentment.
On the flip side, there are also times when I feel least me.
When I do things that are unfilling or damaging to myself.
-When I start a project, but I become discouraged and don't finish
it.. Then
I am least me.
-When I am with a large group of people, trying to fit in, and
I feel as though I
don't. I feel distanced, outcast, set apart.
Then I feel least me.
-When I catch myself manipulating people for my own benefit
without considering the needs and desires of others, I feel
least me.
-When I don't express the true me, my beliefs and my opinions,
for
fear of being misunderstood or rejected, I
feel least me.
When I do something that feels least me, I feel awkward, disgusted in
myself,
unhappy.
In the examples above, I think each activity either moved me more in
balance by fulfilling
one or more of my aspects, or out of balance.
For example, when I teach, I feel very fulfilled on many levels.
My mentality enjoys the challenge
of explaining a difficult concept, and my sociality feels very much
connected to my class.
However, when I don't express my beliefs or opinions for fear of rejection,
my sociality feels
alienated from the people around me, my spirituality feels lessened
by the misunderstanding
which prevents me from growing through sharing myself.
I think that finding your balance is a process of self-discovery, trying
out new activities,
meeting new people, exposing yourself to new ideas. Examine those
activities, and ask yourself,
how did it make me feel? Did it make me feel more myself? Or
not?
So many of us are pressured by our culture and society to work at this
job, to own
this kind of home, to be this and do that, so that we will fit in.
We want so hard to fit in, that our own self-fulfillment becomes unimportant.
In the process
of pleasing everyone around us, we lose ourselves.
Also, many of us become bitter about life, and we simply reach out and
grab what
small satisfactions we can, uncaring about anyone else or how our actions
affect the ones
around us, convinced that self-fullfillment is an impossibility anyways
in such a terrible world.
To find one's self is to enrich your own life and those of your fellow
human beings.
Here is a poem I wrote that tries to capture poetically what I mean
by
"To find one's self is to enrich your own life and those of your fellow
human beings"
I call it "The joy that roots the spirit"
The joy that roots the spirit
comes only from the heart
The joy that roots the spirit
cannot be found apart
The joy that roots the spirit
cannot be trapped or fought
The joy that roots the spirit
comes only when we stop
The joy that roots the spirit
is embracing why we cry
The joy that roots the spirit
is embracing why we die
The joy that roots the spirit
is embracing why we see
The joy that roots the spirit
is embracing how to be
The joy that roots the spirit
comes not from yesteryear
The joy that roots the spirit
comes not from times yet here
The joy that roots the spirit
comes not from distant lands
The joy that roots the spirit
is here flowing through our hands
The joy that roots the spirit
is celebrating how to heal
The joy that roots the spirit
is celebrating how to feel
The joy that roots the spirit
is watered by our tears
The joy that roots the spirit
grows larger than the years
The joy that roots the spirit
seeks the ever-moving sun
The joy that roots the spirit
seeks the ever-changing one
The joy that roots the spirit
comes not from far above
The joy that roots the spirit
comes from the heart of boundless love
I always welcome the reflections and perspectives anyone has on life,
what makes us tick, what it means to be a human. Also, let me
know what you think of my opinions...
Did they agree with your experience? Yes? No? In certain ways,
but not entirely? Or maybe
I'm a complete nutcase and you want to let me know? :) Email me at
johnpriley@aol.com